A Patton Oswalt Live Blog (or, what it takes to get a sci fi nerd, band geek, and a hipster dufus out on a Friday night)

Trying something a little different today. Tonight, myself and a couple of my friends are going out to see Patton Oswalt and celebrate one of our 40th birthdays. Getting the three of us together is ridiculously complex with wives, kids, jobs, and general adulthood in the first place, so i thought, why not document this evening fraught with potential hilarity? Thanks to the wordpress iPhone app, I’ll be editing this post with a running commentary of the days events. Check back in if you like, and feel free to mock us as much as you can. Quite frankly, we are a highly mockable bunch. (Warning, the reviews on this iphone app are miserable, so please excuse any screwed up formatting or laughable misspellings or the posts crashing and disappearing completely.)

First a note about the three of us. We admittedly are far from the coolest bunch: 3 married, over 40 white dudes of varying degrees of geekery/nerdiness (in other words, like everybody else attending a Patton Oswalt show, so there.) It’s like the main cast of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, only if remade by John Waters, except with much less gratuitous nudity (one would hope). Ladies and Gentlemen, i give you The (sci fi) Nerd, The (band) Geek, and the (hipster) Dufus. Names changed to protect the innocent. And here we go:


Our main reason for getting together tonight is the Nerds 40th birthday celebration. (Plus, it’s Patton Oswalt! Huzzah!) His actual birthday was several weeks ago, but due to one reason or another, we were unable to get together until tonight. As always though, this isn’t 100% set in stone until we all arrive in the same place, as the Nerd has a history of sometimes spectacularly last minute cancellations. (Quoth the  Nerd: “Geez, a guys flakes out 15-20 times and it is an albatross around his neck!”)

Both of them have to drive in from out of town, so our plan was for them to leave around 4:30 and meet up at our hotel, and take a cab over to Univeral CityWalk (the show is at the Hard Rock) together. Or at least it was. Now it seems the Nerd will be delayed in setting out (reason: “Don’t ask.”) until 5:30. So that means the Geek and I will starting to celebrate the Nerd’s birthday without him, as well as taking bets on the likelihood of a last minute bail out. The odds in Vegas of an outright cancel have dropped to 6-1 with the over under of the final call at 1 hour before showtime. Personally, I’m taking taking the “makes it but after the show starts” line at 13-1. I feel good about that one. Now all we can do is wait.

On the plus side, this frees us up to hit Emeril’s before the show. A little Cajun calamari and pork fat never hurt anybody. (My 18-29 year old self is reading this and trying to figure out a way to travel to the future and pummel me with a tire iron. Good lord but we getting old, this is no way to prep for a concert/show. Eh, my 18-29 year old self was kind of an idiot.)


Just printed the tickets out. Still trying to figure out why Ticketbastard charges you $2.50 to e-mail you a link for you to print out the tickets on your own paper and with your own ink, but will leave regular tickets for you at will call for free. They are idiots. Then again, I’m the one who made the “pay $2.50 to do all the work yourself option,” so I take that back. Bow to JLo, king of the idiots.


Controversy about the names used in this blog has arisen amongst the other two members of this group, though not for the reason that you might expect.  They are arguing over which one of them should be classified as the “nerd,” though not in the sense of “Hey, I’m not a nerd” but rather both are laying claim to the moniker.  (Shakes head slowly) I stick by my assessment.


Comfortably ensconced now at our luxury hotel near CityWalk (huzzah for hotel reward points), for tonight at least, Geek Central. Let’s get this party started! (and by started, I mean of course watch a little History Channel and get in a quick nap before heading out so that I can stay up past 10:00) Awaiting the impending arrival of  Geek. A hard rain and some traffic lowers the odds of Nerd’s bail out to 4-1, with delayed arrival closing fast at 7-1. Feeling good I got in on the odds that I did.


Uh-oh. Minority Report is on HBO2. Vegas just added “We all blow off the concert and sit around watching movies” to the board at 20-1.

Part II


Posted on January 21, 2011, in Comedy and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

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