A Patton Oswalt Live Blog (or, what it takes to get a sci fi nerd, band geek, and a hipster dufus out on a Friday night
Split this into two posts, as it was getting long. (Part I) Against all odds, the group is assembling. Geek has arrived, a bit delayed due to fabulous Orlando traffic. My late arrival bet is still in play.
Against all odds, we in the house and seated. Vegas may go broke. Our journey was not without tragedy though. Sad, but quite frankly hilarious feline tragedy. Full story to follow later. Bring on Patton.
V and red bulls have been broken out. Eeenhhhh.
Seated next to the incredible 500 lb woman. Awesome.
Patton walks out. Nerd: “it’s like I’m onstage right now.” He’s right. That’s a small, nerdy looking guy. Nerd, by the way, is wearing a Star Wars tshirt. Of course he is.
“I want all the ham.”
Patton Oswalt, I salute you. Hysterically funny, and I’ll never think of ham in the same way again. On the porch now at Pat O’Brien’s. I’m reminded how much I really dislike places like this. Nothing says entertainment like bad piano covers of Bruce Springsteen and cover charges.
Thanks to our general rush to get here, we didn’t get to Emerils. By the time the show was done, we’re so hungry that we walk in the first place we see, Burger King. How sad was that? A big, wet wall of sad, that’s how much. On the plus side, the evening can only get better from here. Oh wait, there’s a dueling piano version of Sweet Caroline. I will now go stab myself in the ear.
Hey dude standing at the urinal checking responding to a text, you are probably the same dude who played the Kid Rock on the jukebox, aren’t you.
One of my favorite games to play at bars is “how quickly can I clear out the room or cause the DJ to pull the plug on the jukebox with a depressing Radiohead song. New record set tonight, 9 seconds of Let Down did the trick. Huzzah!
Lou Vega, Mambo #5, really?
Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
Somebody actually paid money to hear Miley Cyrus’ dad sing that Achey Break Heart song.
Best Dennys ever. And we’re calling the live blog DOA at 2:45 AM EST. Nerd is down and snoring like a buzz saw on the couch. Recap tomorrow.