Spontaneous Happy Hour, Redux

Blogger Note: Portions of the events described below may not represent factual events.

There I was at work today, ready to put in a couple of hours of unrequested OT or to go rescue puppies trapped in building fires, when my friend Paula begged me (again) to go to happy hour at Mellow Mushroom with our friends and former co-workers Carol and Rob. I’ve never spent much time there before, but I have heard good things, so I finally caved into the relentless begging and agreed to go try one of these beverages that they serve there called “beers,” as long as Rob and Carol weren’t coming. As you’ve probably learned by now, Paula lies. A lot.

JLo, please come to Happy Hour with us. It's really creepy with only Rob and his pink shirt here.

Ok, I’ll admit that some of that sentence may have been a lie. There’s no way I’d work OT unless forced to. And I may have been to MM a couple of times before. This week. And my name may or may not be engraved on a plaque there.

MM serves some fantastic pizza and has quite a lovely selection of domestic craft brews (not imports, Rohner – good lord, can’t take you anywhere). Have I mentioned how good the pizza is? Only people who eat, oh, I don’t know, Arby’s beef and cheddar maybe, don’t like MM pie.  They are probably the same people who would stare at a wall full of America’s best craft brews and order a bud light.

While there, I struck up a conversation with another patron about the merits of America’s greatest living actor, Bruce Campbell. Now, you and I know about the greatness of Bruce, star of such classics as Bubba Ho-Tep, My Name is Bruce, The Man With the Screaming Brain, and the Evil Dead trilogy, but my companions have evidently been living under a rock for the past 2 decades and were not really familiar with the breadth and genius of Bruce’s work. They’ve probably spent the past 20 years watching Saved By the Bell or something. Luckily I stumbled upon a charming and cultured fellow who set my compatriots straight, and was as excited as the rest of America rightly is for the Burn Notice spinoff movie, The Fall of Sam Axe, starring Bruce himself. This fellow at the bar was so overcome by their Bruce ignorance and felt such sorrow for me for tolerating such a lack of greatness awareness, that he paid all of our checks and then proceeded to dance like Lady Gaga on top of the bar while playing the spoons in a spontaneous display of pity and admiration. Sadly, we did not capture this on camera.

Which of these taps just doesn't belong?

Anyway, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what happened. For the most part,


Posted on April 13, 2011, in Food and Drink, Movies and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. You spin tall tales, JLo. Tall tales indeed.
    That tap all the way to the right looks pretty good. It almost looks like a Bud Light. I’d write more, but I need to go get a beef n cheddar at Arbys.

  2. LMAO.

    I really can’t believe that Paula doesn’t like MM pizza. What is wrong with her?? And also agree with you on the Bud Light. She got a Bud Light last weekend too. LAMESAUCE (which, btw along with awesomesauce is Paula’s favorite saying).

    • It’s got to be a calorie thing. Though I’d rather order 4 ounces of a real beer than drink a Bud Light if given the choice. I’m pretty sure PR was doing some type of exercise while drinking that flavored water anyway, cleverly using Carol to shield us from seeing.

      • I like to save my calories for jager bombs. Which you didn’t order a round of btw. What’s this “whiskey” or bust business?

        The calorie thing is true. I’d drink the crap out of a Bud Select 55 too. But if I didn’t have to worry about things like “large asses” and “fitting into clothes,” I’d have a Corona, ShockTop, or Half and Half (that doesn’t sound like the right name for some reason.)

        Oh, and Michelle – HRG called and wants her overused phrase back. 🙂

      • Jagerbombs are not for mellow one hour happy hours. A nice glass of Palm Ridge whiskey is perfectly acceptable. Actually, it’s just an excuse to get Rob another schnapps, but it’s funnier when Gordo just brings it unbidden.

  3. BTW, I need to shamelessly rip off your blog more often Paula. Your army of followers is a nice traffic boost.

  4. Good idea, but I’m not sure how many alternate histories of half marathons and chicken recipes I can come up with. ha!

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