I love me some Thanksgiving
Without a doubt, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of them all. Love waking up early (though getting up at 3:30 to flip the turkey in the brine bucket may have been a little bit extreme), getting some coffee on (in this case, Dunkin Donuts Peppermint Mocha – mmm), having a little breakfast, and then sitting back and watching the Thanksgiving Day parade. The advent of twitter is a godsend for those of us who enjoy giving (inflicting?) a running commentary on the proceedings. Since I know not all of you are on the twitter, I thought I’d recap the morning as I saw retro diary-style while waiting impatiently to cut into this later today.
7:35 AM: Wake up for good, realize that it is legitimately cold in the house, stumble to thermostat and turn on the heat for the first time this year. Nothing like flooding the house with that slightly burning “first heat of the year” smell.
7:45 AM: Dunkin Donuts coffee on and successfully counteracting the burning heat smell. I am thankful, so very thankful, for Dunkin K cups reducing the time between brewing and caffeinating to a very manageable two minutes.
8:05 AM: Flipping channels and come across replay of the Shakhtar Donetsk v. Real Sociedad football match. Wait, wrong football for today. You know I love the beautiful game, but I just can’t go there today.
8:30 AM: Scanning twitter and internet, and see an alarming number of posts/articles from people worrying about the number of calories in the typical Thanksgiving meal and/or promoting “guilt free” versions classic holiday dishes. If you do this I can only assume that you hate joy and happiness.
9:00 AM: Parade time!
9:07 AM: Wow, Al Roker’s outfit and Movember beard look like a failed cosplay tribute to the fourth Doctor. (As always, Doctor Who references are dedicated to my good friend and mentor in all things geek, the CRMHobbit.) Though, I must admit that my son gave Mr. Roker a run for his money this morning in the possible hobo tribute look.
9:10 AM: Right off the bat, there’s an early winner of the “Most Courageous People” in the parade award, and it’s the dudes wearing the red thigh high sequin healed boots during the Kinky Boots performance. Especially the guy who looked like Jesse Eisenberg who rounded the look out with a jacket, tie, and what appeared to be blue boxer shorts. Well done and congratulations, gents.
9:15 AM: The first of many mentions of NBC’s live Sound of Music revival/abomination. Do not underestimate my outrage on this subject. I am considering filing suit against the entire travesty in the International Court of Justice and Human Rights to shut it down. We muted the performance piece in our house as a form of silent protest. I am not thankful for this, if you can’t tell.
9:40 AM: Possibly the biggest juxtaposition of light and darkness in the entire parade: the Snoopy balloon (raucous cheers) followed by Sandra Lee (extensive, lusty boos).
10:00 AM: Cranberries! I have nothing to add here.
10:20 AM: Ah yes, nothing says outdoor hockey like awful pop country music (this is the start of a troubling music trend today, btw. More on this.)
10:22 AM: The music gods are generous and serve up The Roots to cleanse the palate. Here’s a question I posed earlier: If you were able 10 years ago to place a bet on Jimmy Fallon and The Roots performing on a Sesame Street float during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, how rich would you be right now? I’m thinking somewhere between the Queen of England and God-level rich.
10:30 AM: Some random actor is described by Matt Lauer as a “star.” I think it is safe to say that nobody stretches the meaning of that word farther than Matt does during the parade promoting NBC television.
10:45 AM: Oh dear sweet lord. Florida-Georgia line perform just before Richard Simmons rides by on a neon green turtle. It’s like my worst fever-induced nightmares are springing to life. Somebody hold me.
11:05 AM: Hey, it’s the Goo Goo Dolls. Just FYI, it’s a short leap from pretending to sing on a float in the parade to the Eat to the Beat concert series at Epcot. See you soon, fellas.
11:25 AM: It’s Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. Awesome. Somehow Joan is looking younger than she did during the I Love Rock and Roll days. All down to clean living, I assume.
11:40 AM: Fall Out Boy is on now. Don’t think it’s appropriate to refer to anyone singing on a float on national TV in front of a Macy’s logo as “indie” or “alternative.” Just FYI to the Matt’s script writers.
11:45 AM: Mrs. Lo highly approves of this Despicable Me Minions/Pillsbury Doughboy pairing. (Hmmm, should I take this as a bad sign and/or a passive aggressive insult?)
11:50 AM: Matt awkwardly reading the Adventure Time script when their balloon passes by is officially my favorite moment of the morning. Just fantastic.
11:55 AM: Wait, Ariana Grande? Is that a singer or a seasonal Starbucks coffee order? I’m confused.
11:59 AM: It’s Santa! I’m sorry, seeing that still gets me pretty excited. Plus, the aromatics are officially being chopped and the bird is about to go into the oven, so that probably caused some sort of Pavlov-ian reaction on my part.
I’m now too officially hungry to write any more. Plus it’s time for Football! Football! Football! Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving (or Thanksgivukkah!) and enjoy the time and company of your friends and family.